Master Self-Kindness and Self-Love, Mindfulness, and Common Humanity for Better Mental Health and Emotional Well-Being
Understanding and practicing self-compassion can significantly improve your mental health and emotional well-being. In this self-compassion guide, we will explore the importance of self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity as essential components of self-compassion. With insights from Dr. Kristin Neff and practical self-compassion exercises like journaling and meditation, you'll learn how to develop a healthier relationship with yourself.
What is Self-Compassion Really?
Compassion: the act of forgiving, loving, and understanding. You most likely have practiced compassion with friends or family. You may notice they are struggling or feeling bad about themselves, and you may offer them compassion, which is understanding that all humans are imperfect and failure is natural for everybody. With this understanding, you are able to provide them with warmth and comfort. Self-compassion is giving that to yourself. Self-compassion is a gateway to self-love.
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, there are three components of self-compassion.
Common Humanity: understanding that every single person in the world is flawed in their own way instead of isolating yourself as imperfect.
Mindfulness: a powerful tool where you can begin to understand why you feel the way you do, and to be aware of your emotions.
Self-kindness: where you forgive yourself and soothe yourself as you would someone you care about. You may tell yourself that it’s okay if you made a mistake or that you’re not the most perfect, and use that as healthy encouragement instead of harsh criticism.
How Do I Practice Self-Compassion Myself? Where Do I Begin?
There are many exercises and resources online that can help you practice self-compassion. I personally started off by purchasing the workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff. Her website also has many resources in learning self-compassion and how to navigate it.
Here are are some self-compassion exercises you can try:
Journaling: Journaling is an extremely helpful tool for mindfulness, and through mindfulness you can begin to understand common humanity.
Meditation: Self-kindness can become a daily practice through self-compassion meditation. One of the exercises that the self-compassion workbook offers is to close your eyes and visualize giving compassion to someone you love by saying phrases like “May you love yourself” or “May you accept yourself”, and then slowly shifting those phrases by visualizing yourself or a past self.
Practicing these self-compassion exercises weekly can help change your perspective on yourself. Just remember that it may be hard and uneasy at first, but over time, it will become easier to understand just how amazing you are, regardless of your flaws!
How Self-Compassion Has Improved My Life
As someone who grew up very emotional and anxious, I had a lot of trouble when I would make mistakes. I would ask myself things like “What is wrong with me?” and beat myself up because I thought I was selfish, mean, or stupid. It was very tiring, degrading myself when things would go wrong, and oftentimes I would end up closing myself off from other people as well as myself. After learning self-compassion, I realized that it does not have to be this way and actually can make me a more content person once I learn how to be more kind to myself.
The Radical Act of Self-Compassion: A Life Changing Revelation
I actually only recently learned about self-compassion and it has critically changed my life. The first step was to forgive my past self for the things I have done. I forgave myself for hurting other people, for not doing my best in school, and for taking out my anger on those I loved. After being able to move forward and understanding that my past was the best I could do at that moment, I was able to learn for my future.
When I catch myself overthinking, instead of being overwhelmed and hating myself for always being in my head, I follow the components of self-compassion. Mindfulness especially helps with overthinking. When I catch myself making mistakes or doing something I would deem selfish, I accept that it was a mistake that is normal to make and comfort myself. There are many other ways that self-compassion has helped me, and I have definitely learned how to manage my emotions better and therefore make me a happier person.
