Escaping War and Finding Peace: My Immigration Journey from Baghdad to the United States
Imagine living in constant fear, always on edge from loud noises and uncertain about what might happen next. That was my reality growing up in Baghdad, a city torn apart by war and political unrest. At nine years old, the conflict forced my family and me to flee to Syria—a decision we soon regretted, as we found ourselves in another conflict zone.
The traumas of my childhood followed me to the United States, where I often felt out of place and unworthy; like someone else should've escaped instead of me. Over time, I've come to accept that I deserve peace and am grateful for escaping the horrors of war. Through cultivating healthy habits and shifting my perspective, I've found healing and now aim to help others who've faced similar challenges.
The War I Experienced: Childhood Memories in Baghdad
I spent most of my childhood running from gunshots and hiding. I remember my dad would come back from work beat up or his car got stolen by a group of terrorists. I think that’s where we realized it had gotten worse. We started packing, I did not want to leave my relatives behind, I felt like this was the last time I’d see them. My family and I got on the first bus in a hurry to leave.
Escape to Syria: A Traumatic Journey
While driving to Syria, the driver was forced to stop by a group of terrorists and that’s when everything went wrong. The terrorist group did not have any weapons but they were carrying rocks, they started throwing the rocks at the windows. A mother behind me was hit with one of the rocks and her daughter held her mother in her arms and cried. What if that was my mother? I asked myself.
Tragedy Strikes Close to Home
Syria was once my favorite country, and fortunately, my mind has shielded me from many of its traumatic events. However, the loss of my best friend remains unforgettable. One day at school, my younger brother and I were singing the Syrian national anthem on the playground when we heard protests outside. Our teachers urged us to be silent. As I looked through tiny holes in the walls, I spotted a tank aiming at our school. Despite my warning, it fired before anyone could react. Smoke filled the air, and the blast was so deafening that I couldn't hear the screams. Frantically searching for my brother, I found him lying next to someone unrecognizable due to the smoke and debris—it was my best friend.
Coming to The United States: A New Beginning Filled with Uncertainty
When I arrived in the United States, I had hoped to find relief, but the fear of war following me persisted. I felt out of place, lacking the childhood experiences my peers had. While they could read and count, I struggled, even in my native language. When asked about childhood games, I had no stories to share. Criticisms from teachers about my grammar or pronunciation reinforced my self-doubt, making me feel like someone else should've escaped war, not me. I constantly felt the need to prove myself, striving for flawless English to affirm my place in this new world.
Healthy Habits I Created to Heal from Trauma
I talked to so many therapists and read religious books, but I still didn’t feel that sense of gratitude for escaping war. Eventually, I discovered the therapeutic power of journaling, a safe space where I could express my thoughts and feelings. Gratitude journaling became my favorite method, helping me focus on the positive aspects of my life. Here's how I practice it:
Gratitude Journaling:
Write down 5-10 things I'm grateful for each day
Reflect on 3 positive events that happened to me
List 5 things I appreciate about myself
Journaling allowed me to confront my negative mindset, bringing it to light on paper. By shifting my focus to positivity and leaving negativity behind, I've learned to appreciate my journey and how far I've come. While the echoes of trauma may linger, their impact has lessened over time. Today, I feel safe, grateful, and relieved, embracing the peace I've found.
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