Beginning College in the States
Beginning College in the States as an International student in the United States at eighteen is one of the most challenging,“yet transformative, experiences” I have had. While I have had my fair share of living and adapting to different cultures, doing it alone and at the start of adulthood has been an eye-opening experience that helped me learn more about my identity and the importance of community.
Initially, I found it hard to connect with my peers since my small liberal arts college is only 5% International students. Throughout orientation week, explaining that I did not grow up in the States was a strange experience. Most native residents would give me an odd look and ask questions like, "Why did you come so far away from home" and "Oh my god, don't you miss your family". While they were valid questions, I felt like an alien answering most of them. The questions made a separation between myself and other students and I felt as if I was an object of their fascination. Additionally, it was challenging to be part of these conversations as I began to lose touch with my identity and began trying to be more like my classmates. Yearning to morph into a different version of myself I began avoiding the question of "where you call home" as I tried to create the perception that I had the same childhood experiences as my peers.
Finding Communities Where You Feel Seen
However, one day, all my anxious thoughts started to dissipate when I stumbled upon a group of International students. In this community, I was able to have real conversations with my new found friends as we discussed the stress of adjusting to a new environment and feeling lost. I felt so relieved after sharing similar experiences and felt like myself for the first time since coming to the States. From then on, I made it a point to indulge in identity-based associations or clubs on campus. The International Students Association (ISA) became my safe space as seeing students from around the world meet and share their experiences and form new support systems was one of the best experiences of my freshmen year.
Being part of ISA taught me a lot about different cultures, helping me unlearn stereotypes and express my culture without feeling judged. Somewhere along the way, having these conversations and learning greetings in a new language, I felt seen and was proud of who I am. I no longer felt out of place, even with my American friends; Instead, I felt genuine and more confident. Joining an Identity-based club then helped me foster a sense of pride in my identity.
My journey of fostering a sense of identity continued when I joined several clubs on campus: the South Asian Students Association and an Identity-based dance group. Not only did I feel seen then as well, but I also realized how many different students struggle with expressing themselves in many other ways and forms.
Creating Safe Spaces
After two years, I feel more proud and comfortable within my surroundings than ever. I have become more involved in running the International Club by being on the Executive Board to make sure it remains a safe space for every International freshman who needs support.
The Key Lesson From My Experience:
As I continue to grow as an international student and person, I find that by focusing on these three key lessons I feel more grounded and seen in my found communities. I now make it a point to always lend an ear to new stories and experiences, which will help me grow and make another person feel more seen and part of a community.
Always seek support in anxious times.
Find community with the people that surround you; they are often facing similar experiences and can support you in your new found path.
Express my emotions in order to feel more comfortable and overcome my anxiety.
